Another fictional interview with John "Boomhauer" Gibbons

Dave
Wow John, things have really spiraled downhill quickly haven't they?
Gibby
Dang 'ole team dud dang gone 'ole cold.... dang
Dave
"Dud dang" fo show John. To what do you attribute this phenomenon?
Gibby
Well dere Dave (adjusts cup and snorts).  Baseball's about three importent tings.  Ya gotcher number one.  Ya gotta hit da ball.  Ya gotcher number two... ya gotta pitch da ball.  Aaaand dere's a number three two... (trailing off) ya got any cornbread?
Dave
No.  Think hard about number three.  Think.  Think.
Gibby
I'll be danged.  It was me pappy dat told me about da three... but I can only remember two
Dave
Is it fielding?
Gibby
Could very well be dere Dr. Science... but Johnny Ballgame don't care much for it... so I'm gonna run wit buntin'.  Yeah Buntin' is number three.
Dave
Bingo.  Let me ask you about the pitching staff.
Gibby
Who?
Dave
Exactly.  Moving on...
Gibby
(Beginning to rustle through his fat guy windbreaker for something to eat)
Hey dere... you got any cornbread over dere?
Dave
Still no.  Does it worry you that your shortstop appears to be utterly incompetent at all aspects of the game and both of your catchers are only in the major leagues because of their novelty-like appearance?  
Gibby
(Still looking for cornbread)... I swears Milly rustled me up some cornbread to take me dud dang 'ole mind off dese here tings.  Weellll... Royce is takiner one day at a time and tryin' to stay within' himself... and big Sally... he's... big.  (Throws hands up in the air).  It's all Gibby's got.
Dave
Indeed.  Johnny I like ya.  Gimme a hug
Gibby
No Deal

www.bigearcreations.blogspot.com