Please note that I am seriously bored at work and this just starting playing out in my head.....

Queue Iconic Jeopardy Music

JohnnyG: Welcome to Jeopardy!

I’ll be your host JohnnyG filling in for the vacationing Alex Trebak as he rehabs from his exhausting mustache transplant surgery.

Today we have a very special celebrity edition of Jeopardy featuring the Toronto Blue Jays! Our contestants today will be playing for a variety of charities and without any further adieu lets meet them.

 

 

JohnnyG: Up First we have Blue Jay general manager JP Riccardi, tell us about yourself JP

JP: Well first I would just like to say it is a pleasure being here and I got to tell I really think I can turn this ship around, just give me 5 years I will have your show into the sweeps bonaza and becoming a ratings success!

JohnnyG: Ummm well, I don’t think we really need a new producer at the moment… the show basically is the same each week I am not sure what you could do..

JP: I am going to stop you there. Did you know your producer doesn’t really like game shows? Yeah that’s right, we can compete with Wheel of Fortune if you give me the chance.

JohnnyG: Ok… umm Moving on. Next up we have a former all-star and gold glove Centerfielder Vernon Wells.

A deafening roar of Boo’s rain down from the studio audience

JohnnyG: Wow, that is the first time a contestant has ever been booed on the show

Vernon: It’s ok Bob, that’s my new nickname

JohnnyG: I really don’t think they were using the Boo in that fashion Vernon. In fact, Yes Look right there, there are a half dozen Vernon Sucks signs in the studio, and the stage hand is actually holding up a sign that says Boo…. Hey does that guy even work here…. Hey wait did you just call me Bob?

Vernon: No no, those say Vernons Ucks, It’s my name for standup comedy routine. It’s like Yuk Yuk’s but funnier and with more money. These guys love me!

Vernon takes a bow to the audience as two or three bottles fly overtop him. Vernon completely oblivious returns to the podium

Vernon: Back to you Bob!

JohnnyG: Right…. Ok then…Lastly we have Alex Rios!... Oh it seems you have forgotten to write down your name on the pad there Alex.

Alex: No Autographs

JohnnyG: Well it’s not really an autograph, it’s just so that the people in the audience and at home can see your name. In fact you can just draw a picture if you want anything to identify you, It could just be you sitting on a park bench, it doesn’t really matter.

Alex: Are you calling me a bum???

JohnnyG: Um No, I was just saying you didn’t have to write your name you could do something else….

Alex: You know what **** you! Who gives a ****! **** you!

Alex continues swearing as he storms off stage

JohnnyG: Ooook… then…How about we start the game while we wait for our producers to bring in a free agent. Here is a look at the categories

A buzzer goes off

JohnnyG: JP we haven’t started playing yet

JP: I didn’t push the buzzard, Vernon did. He has an injured hand, had it not been for that injury this show would be into sweeps by now, it’s just a string of bad luck

JohnnyG: Vernon didn’t push the button you did, your podium is lit up, and you just lied

JP: No I didn’t

JohnnyG: Yes you did

JP: No I didn’t. I know the truth so I didn’t. In fact if we had the money to invest into this stage I bet these things wouldn’t happen and we could compete.

JohnnyG: Ugh… Ok fine whatever. Let’s just get to the Categories. They are Blue Jay Centerfielders, Blue Jay All Time Leaders, Baseball greats, Hodgepodge and Sporting Movies. Vernon you won our toss up backstage so you can pick first.

Vernon: I’ll take Centerfielders for $100 Bob.

JohnnyG: Ok here is your question,

Buzzer goes off in the background

JohnnyG: I didn’t even ask the question yet Vernon, you could at least wait for your question before taking a swing at it

Vernon: I can’t help it Bob

JohnnyG: Alright Fine, Let’s move onto the next one, and stop calling me Bob

Buzzer goes off again

JohnnyG: ………. Vernon you need to wait for the question.

Vernon: Right I understand Bob, Sorry about that.

JohnnyG (ignoring Vernon): Oh Look at that our producers have found us a new contestant… and wait.. that can’t be right… that’s 4 people. What kind of name is Dabrvin Menarluccison?

JP: Hey I love those guys

Camera pans over to Kevin Mench, Brad Wilkerson, Kevin Millar and David Dellucci all standing at the podium

Dabrvin Menarluccison: We are happy to be here Johnny

JohnnyG: Ok that’s creepy… do you all have to talk in unison like that…

Dabrvin Menarluccison: Yes we do Johnny, Please let’s move on to the game

Vernon: Bob, can I have a team of people to help with my questions?

JohnnyG: No you can’t and they can’t stay. I need a drink. Let’s take a break while I talk to my producers about getting a proper contestant and when we come back maybe I can actually ask a question…..

 

 

(to be continued at a later date… well maybe depending if people would actually read it)