Jose Bautista Facts.
by craig in calgary on Jul 28, 2010 4:39 PM EDT
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Print- In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Jose Bautista could use to hit a home run, including the room itself
- Bautista's baseball card has its own baseball card
- NASA is testing his swing as a cheaper means to launch objects into space
- My sister caught a second deck Jose Bautista two-run homer. Now she's pregnant
- The Rogers Center roof isn't actually retractable. It just knows to get the hell out of Jose Bautista's way
- Jumbotron has been replaced 63 times this year due to JoBau batting practice damage
- When asked if he could repeat the Blue Jays back-to-back success in '92-'93, Jose flexed one arm, and then the other.
- He doesn't say, "I'm on a horse." The horse says, "I'm under Jose Bautista"
- There will be more Homers in his '10 season than there is in a Full season of the Simpsons
- Eve didn't eat the forbidden apple, she contemplated a Jose Bautista trade
- An asteroid almost did collide with earth once, but Jose caught it and threw it back
- His name is Jose Bautista and Windows 7 was his idea
- You can't trade Jose Bautista, because the only fair return would be Jose Bautista
- Talks of engraving Jose's face into Mt Rushmore stopped when they realized the granite wasn't hard enough for his beard
- Jose Bautista's bat is considered Canada's first weapon of mass destruction
- Jose Bautista was not left out of the home run derby, he was hitting bombs from Toronto. They should be in Anaheim soon
- ARod is waiting to hit his 600th HR until Bautista does out of respect. Bautista told him to give it a couple of weeks
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He doesn’t say, “I’m on a horse.” The horse says, “I’m under Jose Bautista”
That one is the best.
Good read. Will read again.
HEADING STRAIGHT FOR THEM, I PRESS DOWN MAH GUNS!
Bob McCown is never without sunglasses because he stared too long at Jose Bautista
by craig in calgary on Jul 28, 2010 4:48 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
Jose Bautista
Toronto’s own Chuck Norris
To Infinity. And BEYOND!!!
by YunelTheLazyLatino on Jul 28, 2010 4:49 PM EDT reply actions
BTW these are all Tweets #JoseBautistaFacts
I just thought they were hillarious and thought I’d share for those not on twitter.
Here’s one from Sportsnet:
Sportsnet had to create a new channel because the previous 4 couldn’t all contain the power of Jose Bautista
by craig in calgary on Jul 28, 2010 5:11 PM EDT reply actions
Yep
I’ll leave here in an hour…should be there for 5
by craig in calgary on Jul 28, 2010 5:18 PM EDT up reply actions
That's gold, Craig. Gold!
I love the A-roid one.
It takes neither courage nor intelligence to cheer for a team only when that team wins. The true test of a fan's mettle is the same as it is for a player: Were you there when you were needed?
aka Solace
love it love it love it
I’m thinking with my heart and I don’t care…we scored lots of prospects already this year, and I love the new Sportsnet commercials touting Jose as the homerun KING..we need asses in the seats more than we need more prospect porn right now…love to see him prove the chess-club wrong and dominate for three or four years.
Excellent!
Screw trading Bautista! He’s too much fun to have around and following a team is supposed to be about fun first and foremost otherwise why bother being a fan.
He's fun to be around
I have more fun with the team competing for championships.
Gotta play 'em, might as well win 'em.
"You had to have the BIG salad."
"Suit up."
"Eric, when your mom says are you ready for your catheter...the answer is no."
Great post!
i want to recommend this and anti-recommend the trade Bautista post. Is there a better word for anti-recommend?
by upstate jay fan on Jul 28, 2010 11:02 PM EDT reply actions
Disapprove is "Anti-Approve"...
Anti-Recommend should be something like “Discommend”… Or not…
I would have used “Condemn” or “Damned” – it has a closer ring to it…
Festina Lente
Jose Facts
Jose is so good in right field that AA traded the 1B of the future for a low level prospect as he has such good range, he could play both positions at the same time
by craig in calgary on Jul 29, 2010 5:57 PM EDT reply actions
why don't we just let him play OF by himself
To Infinity. And BEYOND!!!
by YunelTheLazyLatino on Jul 30, 2010 4:48 PM EDT up reply actions
The Old Spice Man wishes he was Jose:
Look at Jose, Look at me, now back to Jose, now back at me, now back to Jose. Sadly, I am not he. He probably smells better than me. He hits better than me. Look down, look up, where are you? You’re trotting ‘round the bases with the man who hits for you, not on you. What’s in you hand, back at Jose. He has it, a piece of ash that will hit more homers than anyone. Look again, it is now a ball that will make another outfield assist. Anything is possible when The Man hits and throws like Jose and not some Yankee. Jose is a horse.
by bluejaysstatsgeek on Aug 15, 2010 1:00 AM EDT up reply actions
Jose is getting cocky when he hits homeruns now
Stares at the ball and looks badass for a second or two before running the bases.
Onions Baby Onions
Jose...the Force will be with you...always...as long as you stay in Toronto.
I'm thinking that when the Leafs win the Cup, I'll lose my drinking problem.
by leafsfan4life94 on Aug 7, 2010 7:03 PM EDT up reply actions
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