FanPost

Jose Bautista Facts.

  • In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Jose Bautista could use to hit a home run, including the room itself
  • Bautista's baseball card has its own baseball card
  •  NASA is testing his swing as a cheaper means to launch objects into space
  • My sister caught a second deck Jose Bautista two-run homer. Now she's pregnant
  • The Rogers Center roof isn't actually retractable. It just knows to get the hell out of Jose Bautista's way
  • Jumbotron has been replaced 63 times this year due to JoBau batting practice damage
  • When asked if he could repeat the Blue Jays back-to-back success in '92-'93, Jose flexed one arm, and then the other.
  • He doesn't say, "I'm on a horse." The horse says, "I'm under Jose Bautista"
  • There will be more Homers in his '10 season than there is in a Full season of the Simpsons
  • Eve didn't eat the forbidden apple, she contemplated a Jose Bautista trade
  • An asteroid almost did collide with earth once, but Jose caught it and threw it back
  • His name is Jose Bautista and Windows 7 was his idea
  • You can't trade Jose Bautista, because the only fair return would be Jose Bautista
  • Talks of engraving Jose's face into Mt Rushmore stopped when they realized the granite wasn't hard enough for his beard
  • Jose Bautista's bat is considered Canada's first weapon of mass destruction
  • Jose Bautista was not left out of the home run derby, he was hitting bombs from Toronto. They should be in Anaheim soon
  • ARod is waiting to hit his 600th HR until Bautista does out of respect. Bautista told him to give it a couple of weeks
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