The poor little rich kids from New York have been mauled by the Detroit Tigers. Now that they've lost, they'll be wiping their tears away with $100 bills and drowning their sorrow in Pinot Noir. I just can't imagine how hard it was for them when they drove their BMW's to their mansions and told their trophy wives that they lost. They probably had to sleep on the leather sofa in the parlour. You know who else is sad that the Yankees lost? Me. You know why? Because there are no more teams left for me to hate. I mean, who's left for me to despise now that the Evil Empire has been burned to ashes? Detroit? Texas? Milwaukee? St. Louis? Please. Those teams are as detestable as chocolate ice cream. Nobody hates chocolate ice cream, right? Of course not. You would have to be foolish not to like chocolate ice cream.
Now, let's take this chocolate ice cream analogy a step further and say all the remaining teams are in fact chocolate ice cream. Since all the remaining teams are chocolate ice cream it won't matter who wins the World Series because in the end it will always be chocolate ice cream. This causes confusion for me because I won't know who to cheer for since I love chocolate ice cream. How could I pick one chocolate ice cream team over another? I can't. It's impossible. It would be so much easier for me if the Yankees, aka black licorice ice cream, made it to the World Series against one of the chocolate ice cream teams (i.e. Milwaukee) because at least I'll know who to cheer for: chocolate ice cream. That my friends is why it's bad that the New York Yankees lost.