A Question for the Ages
by TonyFernandezSavedMyLife on Jan 6, 2012 9:24 PM EST
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I doubt that this has been debated on BBB before, it's a hypothetical philosophical conundrum common to many forums so it may have been broached. If that is the case I apologize.
To the conundrum----------------->
The Scenario:
You find yourself at an international Pee-Wee baseball tournament where teams of 6 year olds from all over the world have gathered in the spirit of goodwill and competition. Suddenly the peaceful mood is shattered as all of the 6 year olds become possessed by evil forces and go berzerk and start to attack you, you and only you. All the other adults (all humans above the age of 6) run away, get in their cars and leave you stranded on your own to stand against this meniacal horde of post-toddlers bent on your destruction.
We'll put the number of kids at 700 and assume they are all unarmed. You are in open baseball fields with numerous chain link backstopped diamonds complete with some simple aluminum bleachers. No buildings in the area can be reached. You have no supplies but what you normally carry. The bats have not been taken off of the buses so you don't have access to them.
The Question:
How many of the 6 year olds can you fight off before they overwhelm you?
Please provide your reasoning behind your chosen number.
Take into account your size, skills, stamina, your strategies as well as the factors listed above when you make your estimations.
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it would be no problem to hold off 600 little kids. little kids weight 40-50 lbs and have such little legs that they don’t run very fast. It wouldn’t even be close.
ya, 600 is a lot
and even though 6 year olds may lack the ability to coordinate their strikes and develop advanced tactical maneuvers, a lot of them are going to be coming at once and at all different angles and positions. Even if you are much stronger than each of them, it’s tough to get rid of like 10 different people swarming you at once
Remember when you emailed me to ask that I let you know when you've gone off your rocker?
Follow me @Minor_Leaguer
by Minor Leaguer on Jan 7, 2012 12:00 AM EST reply actions 5 recs
Yes I think that time has come! But...
… imagining this purely as a mental exercise (like fighting six yr old zombies) you could:
Use one of the six year olds as your weapon provided you realised early enough what was going on and you weren’t already surrounded. Your swinging arc should take out several at a time…
Then you would need to find a place that meant you could take on the fewest at a time, so possibly on the bleachers or behind home plate if it is narrower there. If comfortably under 180 degrees, then you have a chance to keep going for a while.
Body and brain if realising this is a life and death situation will help you through the fatigue until you really are ready to drop, and take away any moral objection you had to knocking out 6yr olds. It turns into a wildlife program – survival of the fittest.
Conclusion: if you realise what’s happening quickly, get into a defendable place and your body goes into survival mode you could take down over 300, maybe even all of them… But I’m guessing your overwhelmed by the sheer numbers after 300.
by LimeyJaysFan on Jan 7, 2012 4:25 AM EST up reply actions 2 recs
This is good stuff ^
This post is totally justified.
thisrighthere!
by TonyFernandezSavedMyLife on Jan 7, 2012 11:15 AM EST up reply actions
I could take somewhere from 50-200
depending on my surrounding weaponry and how heartless i felt that day
But would your survival instinct overtake your heart? You wouldn't see them as kids, only beings who are trying to kill you.
Follow me @Minor_Leaguer
by Minor Leaguer on Jan 7, 2012 12:18 AM EST up reply actions
that's true
but everything I’ve ever heard about killing (or maybe just maiming in this case) is that one never knows how they’ll actually act when it happens
I Would
Just trade all of the top 6 olds away for good, to great 4 year olds.
by FanInJapan on Jan 7, 2012 4:48 AM EST reply actions 11 recs
I could probably take them all
As long as I stay on my feet I am ok. They would be too slow to swarm me. Basically I’d circle them and pick them off one by one. Fatigue would not matter because they would still be too small and weak to do much. I’m 6 foot 4 so my reach would be too much for them.
Man who has four balls cannot walk
by Beer Leaguer on Jan 7, 2012 6:15 AM EST via Android app reply actions
I'd climb the backstop
and get a good solid position at the top, zombie kids are crappy climbers, any that got close just stomp em off, I think I could hold them off, 700 zombie kids is going to make the news.
I'm a teacher
and this post is offensive. just joking. I’d read them a story or have them tear up the grass until they were tired and the ChocoPuffs worked their way out of their systems
I'd just give them a hug.
Can’t we all just get along?
What can a 6 year old really do to hurt you? If they bite to hard, they’re teeth will fall out.
@VagabondBansal
I can think of one area in which they might strike that could cause sufficient pain to allow all 700 to overwealm you….
by MjwW on Jan 7, 2012 1:35 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
They’re the perfect height for it too…
Here's my attempt at a witty sig. Didn't really go so well, methinks.
Wise men wonder, while strong men die.
Plenty of demonstrations available too
Every episode of America’s Funniest Videos is guaranteed to have at least one.
It just takes one...
to get behind you, grab a leg, and chomp down. You scream, others see the tactic and three kids on your leg is like 120 lbs, and you have two legs, and we’re not counting the overfed 80 pounders in the bunch. Having had nephews and nieces attack me like this – without the teeth, but with the same zombie intensity – I’d say 25 kids max. Never underestimate your foe no matter how ini, mini or miny.
This is not a signature.
first of all
there would be 1400 parents getting personal visits after i survived this ordeal.
i would use the bleachers, top row. dominant position, hard for anyone to take a run at you, only limited number of kids could come at you (1 from each side at a time) and a few from below, and if you go over the edge your more likely to survive the fall, just got to find a way back to the top. after 600 were gone, id probably seek out the last hundred, before the parents meeting.
by nwobigboy on Jan 7, 2012 2:40 PM EST reply actions 1 recs
would be better if there wasn't a retractable roof
you could just throw overaggressive ones over the wall
by benk on Jan 7, 2012 4:38 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Well
I normally carry my keys on a lanyard, so I’d start with those puppies as a weapon, similar to a ball and chain being swung around.
I also have my cell phone so I’d probably call someone for help.
Even with that.. like maybe 50? I think I’d actually try and scale one of the fences.
by McCutchenIsTheTruth on Jan 7, 2012 6:24 PM EST reply actions
my roommate would be better prepared for this scenario
he regularly keeps a combat knife with him at all times
As long as the Saudi Arabian team isn't there, I think I'd do ok.
(I understand he’s not 6.)
WHo is this giant anyway?
Is he signed anywhere?
thisrighthere!
by TonyFernandezSavedMyLife on Jan 10, 2012 9:21 PM EST up reply actions
Aaron Durley
According to wiki, he’s committed to play basketball at Marquette, since he was a 6’10 265 pound high school freshman, who is now a true 7 footer, in his senior year.
In his last Little League world series, in 2006, he stood 6’9 245, having just turned 13.
His brother Cameron stood 6’2 228 in the 2008 series, and was still only 12.
So we’ve got another one coming up, maybe he’ll stick with baseball.
And he’s Saudi Arabian?
Follow me @Minor_Leaguer
by Minor Leaguer on Jan 11, 2012 3:25 PM EST up reply actions
Are you sure this is hypothetical?
I’ve been to the Ontario Science Centre in the summer and the kids weren’t far off from your scenario. They terrified my girlfriend, she compared them to a pack of wild baboons, only she said baboons are more civilized.
Kids are scary, I’d like to think I could take out at least 50 of them, but kids move in swarms, so I’m probably overestimating my abilities.
Hic sunt fortuna dracones
There is only 1 "n" in Hutchison
by JaysfanDL on Jan 9, 2012 11:24 AM EST reply actions 1 recs
I work with kids at day camp
Angry children, who are trying to hurt you are absolutely terrifying, let alone 700 of them. Realistically, I wouldn’t last past 10, but i can provide my strategy for those more capable then myself.
Kill as many as possible as early as possible, and use the bodies and the backstop to build a fortress, protecting yourself from the sheer number of the swarm. Use the strategy of 300 and try to limit the amount that can attack you at once. Slowly increase your body fortress’s size with the increasing number of children you’ve eliminated, to further fortify your position, and nulify any chance of the children taking down the walls of your fortress. Resort to cannibalism if necessary, and slowly, but surely, eliminate all 700 multicultural little-league-ers
Follow me on Twitter at @AlexDavidson68
Ghoulish but insightful comment
Good plans here, some food for thought.
thisrighthere!
by TonyFernandezSavedMyLife on Jan 10, 2012 6:08 PM EST up reply actions
My therapist says I probably shouldn't be working with kids
given my clearly disturbed mind
Follow me on Twitter at @AlexDavidson68
You may have a disturbed mind but you're one hell of a tactician
Hic sunt fortuna dracones
There is only 1 "n" in Hutchison
This is true
Hopefully help will arrive before that need arises
Follow me on Twitter at @AlexDavidson68
given that you are being attacked in a swarm
where, presumably, all 700 are trying to attack you at once in a non-orderly fashion, I wouldn’t think you would have time to collect and stack the bodies to create such a fortification. Because as soon as you killed one, another would be right on you. It’s not like you are being attacked one-at-a-time, with a few minutes between each kid.
See if it was one at a time with a breather in between each one, that sounds like something I’d pay an awful lot of money to do recreationally.
by Mathlete on Jan 12, 2012 4:27 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
This isn't realistic
as I’m not allowed within 500 feet of a child
Excuse me, do these effectively hide my thunder?
by T.Dot_Bronco on Jan 13, 2012 10:21 PM EST reply actions 2 recs
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