If you watched the Blue Jays take on the Boston Red Sox on Saturday in a game that was halted multiple times by a rain delay, you may have witnessed pitcher Aaron Laffey deliver a serious beating to his glove as the game was delayed with two outs in the bottom of the fifth inning. Of course if you are familiar with the rules of baseball you can understand Laffey’s frustration, as he failed to get the last out of the inning before the umpires decided to delayed which would have guaranteed the Jays a win had the game been called off as the game would have been considered official.
Luckily for the Bluebirds, the game went the full nine innings and resulted in a 7-5 victory. The question is, what would Laffey had done to that glove if the game were postponed for good? We’ll never find out the answer, but since inquiring minds might like to know, here’s a list of things Aaron Laffey could have done to kill time during a rain delay that would have been much safer for his baseball glove….
Chicken & Beer
No, it’s not just the name of one of rapper Ludacris’ albums, but also a time honored tradition spearheaded by the Boston Red Sox pitching staff as recently revealed to the rest of Major League Baseball. In Laffey’s case, beer would have depressed his immune system and allowed him to relax on the mound, providing him with a calm mentality that would have allowed him to spare his glove any pain. As for chicken, we all know that tasty meat is filled with protein and protein helps build strong muscles baseball players definitely need in order to perform. A delicious protein filled drumstick is especially important during this steroid filled era in baseball. It allows you to perform better without risking suspension from games or exclusion from the Hall of Fame. Your team’s publicist will be glad you stayed away from performance enhancing drugs. Not to mention the Red Sox clubhouse was just a stone’s throw away.
There’s a chance that the workout regimen and diet of a major league baseball player may not allow for greasy food and alcohol on a regular basis, but if you’re feeling frustrated and need a repetitive bad habit to take your anger out on that won’t result in weight gain or drunkenness, eating sunflower seeds is a good option. Though it is not necessarily a personal favorite of mine, it does come in abundance in any standard sunflower seed loving Major League clubhouse. Plus you can get it in all sorts of flavors and the Boston Globe and USA Today aren’t going to give you a hard time over it like they would chicken or beer.
Destroying A Gatorade Cooler To Oblivion
Contrary to a baseball glove, a Gatorade cooler is not something you would use to catch a baseball when the catcher throws it back to you, although admittedly the cooler had much more space for a baseball than does a glove. Beating the daylights out of a water cooler also has quite the history baseball and was made famous during my lifetime by Yankees great Paul O’niell, who would routinely take a Louisville slugger to the side of the Gatorade labeled watering hole after a bad at-bat. Though one could argue that a pitcher swinging a bat when he’s angry probably isn’t the best idea, Laffey wasn’t going to be swinging one in an American League ballpark anytime soon as the Jays are not in the running for the World Series and Interleague Play ended a long time ago.
A Good Old Fashion Game Of Cards
A deck of playing cards and a few friends offer a great way to kill time on a long road trip away from home and given the Jays were in Boston, it only makes sense have a fresh pack of Bicycle cards readily available. There are just so many classic games to be played, including my personal favorite, Crazy Eights. If it turned out Laffey and the boys were tired of games, there is always the option of using the cards to build a 3 story house (that’s the furthest I have gone without watching my handmade mansion crumble to the ground.) Besides, the lacking structural integrity of a house of cards would make for a great piece of interpretive artwork, standing as an accurate representation of the Jays season, a young and talented fragile group with a few key pieces that falls apart way too soon.
Watching Out Of Town Games
This one could have been a tough one given that rain delays normally equal clouds and clouds usually equal horrible satellite signals. Assuming that didn’t get in the way, Laffey could have very easily ran down the tunnel of the clubhouse, turned on the television and pouted like a five year old while watching an equally talented team like the Baltimore Orioles beat the New York Yankees to take the lead in the division in their fight for the playoffs, something the Jays have not legitimately competed for since 1993. Considering the advances in modern digital and high definition television viewing over the years, this would have probably been the best and most entertaining option.
To say the least it has been an incredibly long season for the Toronto Blue Jays and Aaron Laffey’s frustration on Saturday was obvious. That said, there really is no reason to slam your glove around like that when your team is as far out of the playoffs as the Jays are. As you can clearly tell, there are much better ways to go about letting go of your frustration anyway, just ask Jon Lester and the boys from Boston.