What SHOULD have happened at the team meeting

With apologies to Mamet:

Winfield: Let me have your attention for a moment! 'Cause you're talking about what? You're talking about...[puts out his cigarette]...whining about that catch you dropped, some ump don't want to give you the call, somebody don't want to play you full time, some endorsement deal you’re trying to sign, so forth. Let's talk about something important. [to Anthopoulos] Are they all here?

Anthopoulos: All but one.

Winfield: Well, I'm going anyway. Let's talk about something important! [to Arencibia] Put that Gatorade down!! Gatorade's for players only. [Arencibia scoffs] You think I'm messing with you? I am not messing with you. I'm here from Mount Pleasant. I'm here from Mohammed and Beeston. And I'm here on a mission of mercy. Your name's Arencibia?

J.P. Arencibia: Yeah.

Winfield: You call yourself a ball player, you son of a…

Brett Lawrie: I don't gotta listen to this stuff.

Winfield: You certainly don't, pal. 'Cause the good new is you're fired. The bad news is you've got, all you've got, just one week to regain your jobs, starting with tonight. Starting with tonight's game. Oh, have I got your attention now? Good. 'Cause we're adding a little something to this month's sales contest. As you all know, first prize is a Cadillac Escalade. Anybody wanna see second prize? Second prize's a set of batting gloves. Third prize is you're fired. Do you get the picture? Are you laughing now? You got film and scouting reports. Mohammed and Beeston paid good money. Get their names to hit them or strike them out! [To the bullpen] You can't close the leads you're given, you can't close spit, you are spit, hit the bricks, pal, and beat it 'cause you're going out!!!

Josh Johnson: The scouting reports are weak.

Winfield: The reports are weak. Bleedin' leads are weak? You're weak. I've been in this business 40 years.

Maicer Izturis: What's your name?

Winfield: SCREW YOU, that's my name!! You know why, Mister? 'Cause you have a -1.2 WAR tonight, I drove in 1833 runs batted in. That's my name!! [to Arencibia] And your name is "you're wanting". And you can't play in a man's game. You can't beat them. [at a near whisper] Then go home home and tell your wife your troubles. [to everyone again] Because only one thing counts in this life! Get them to cross the plate, which is home! You hear me, you lousy maggots? [Winfield flips over a blackboard which has two sets of letters on it: ABC, and AIDA.] A-B-C. A-Always, B-Be, C-Closing, or Catching, or Clutch Hitting. Always be closing! Always be catching! A-I-D-A. Attention, Interest, Decision, Action. Attention -- do I have your attention? Interest -- are you interested? I know you are 'cause it's hit or out. You close, or you hit the bricks! Decision -- have you made your decision for crying out loud?!! And action. A-I-D-A. Get out there!! You got the prospects coming in. You think they came in to watch you block them? A guy don't walk on the field lest he wants to play. Sitting out there waiting to give us his all! Are you gonna make it? Are you man enough to make it?

Arencibia: Incredible.

Winfield: [to Arencibia] What's the problem, pal? You. Arencibia. [Winfield sits down.]

Arencibia: You're such a hero, you're so great. How come you're coming down here waste your time with such a bunch of bums?

Winfield: You see this ring? [Blake takes off his 1992 World Series ring.] You see this ring?

Arencibia: Yeah.

Winfield: That ring cost more than your contract. I made Silver Slugger that year. How much you hit? You see, pal, that's who I am. And you're nothing. Nice guy? I don't give a darn. Good father? Forget you, go home and play with your kids!! [to everyone] You wanna work here? Play!! [to Colby Rasmus, who is in the fetal position and asking for his father] You think this is abuse? You think this is abuse, you centre fielder? You can't take this, how can take the abuse you get on an at bat?! You don't like it, leave. I can go out there tonight, the film you got, go 2 for 4! Tonight! In two hours! Can you? Can you? Go and do likewise! A-I-D-A!! Get mad! You sons of guns! Get mad!! You know what it takes to play in the majors? [He pulls something out of his gym bag. He is holding two brass balls on string] It takes brass balls to play in the pros. [He puts them away after a pause.] Go and do likewise, gents. The glory's out there, you pick it up, it's yours. You don't, I got no sympathy for you. You wanna go out on that field tonight and pitch, hit, it's yours. If not, you're gonna be shining my shoes. And you know what you'll be saying, bunch of losers, sitting around in a bar. [in a mocking weak voice] "Oh yeah, I used to be a ball player, it's a tough racket." [He takes out large stack of red index cards tied together with string from his briefcase.] These are the new contract extensions. These are the Championship contract extensions. And to you, they're gold. And you don't get them. Why? Because to give them to you is just throwing them away. [He hands the stack to Anthopoulos.] They're for closers. I'd wish you good luck, but you wouldn't know what to do with it if you got it. [to Arencibia as he puts on his watch again] And to answer your question, pal, why am I here? I came here because Mohammed and Beeston asked me to, they asked for a favor. I said, the real favor, follow my advice and DFA your useless behind 'cause a loser is a loser.

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