While browsing around at the price gouging liquor store recently, I caught the good old Toronto Blue Jays logo out of the corner of my eye. After meandering over to the can it was plastered on, I noticed that it was one of the Budweiser Blue Jays beer cans that have been floating around for a year or two. This season was the first season that the cans saw widespread releases in non-team markets, although Toronto seems to have had them for a while now. The price tag for the singular can was a little over $2 (they're a cool $10 at the Rogers Centre) and I figured after investing so much in the season emotionally and financially, what was another toonie spent if it made the games more enjoyable to watch. I also figured I could review the experience of drinking this Bud with everyone's favourite baseball team's logo emblazoned on it and recommend whether other Banterers should also make this $2 purchase in the future. As it turns out, incredibly, Budweiser has managed to truly capture the feeling of the Toronto Blue Jays in this beer.
First things first when talking about beer is the taste. As it turns out regardless of what logo is on the can, the beer still tastes like Budweiser. In truth, that was always going to be a tough hurdle to clear. With immense anticipation leading up to the drinking of the beer, the experience was off to a rough start before the first sip was even complete. I even had all my friends come over and watch me drink the beer. We unraveled a huge Canadian flag just before I drank said beer and proudly sang the national anthem.
After the rough beginning things never really got better as I dropped the can consistently, much more than I used to when I drank beer in Miami. I became pretty wobbly too, which is normal when I drink beer, but usually I know pretty much where I'm going to end up wobbling to. In fact last year in New York, I was so good at controlling my wobbling after drinking I won an award for my efforts.
I let one of my friends have some of the beer and to be honest, he's a bit of a hothead. We all know it, but no one really likes to admit to his face how much we hate brashness. Anyway, my friend really let everyone down by constantly letting the beer can roll through his legs when I tossed it to him and when he tried to throw it back to me he missed me by a good 20 feet. He didn't care though, because he knew we wouldn't stop being his friend in spite of his poor performance. #GetUseToIt
This beer lasted a lot longer than usual, and a lot more interesting things happened during the drinking of it. I had heard one of my energetic new acquaintances had some cool things he could do and shortly into the beer drinking session he did his usual party trick, but this time around he basically snapped his ankle after looking really awkward trying something he's quite accustomed to doing. He went home for a while, but came back by the time I was about halfway through the Blue Jays beer can. Like I said, this beer can lasts an excruciating long amount of time and doesn't really satisfy at all.
On a side note, there's another guy who hangs around with us who's a fair bit older. He's got some good jokes and he really knows how to slam a beer, but no one is really sure what value he brings to the table. Sure, he's good for a laugh every once in a while, but is it really worth having him around so often just for his presence. I'm sure we could find someone else that provides a little more value to our group than that old guy.
There are a few other people that are worth a quick mention as well. A younger guy from out west comes around every so often and really brings the intensity up a notch. Boy, he does a lot of stupid stuff and we're still not sure if he has a future with us or not. There's also a dude from down south who is quiet, but generally a good person to have around. He's definitely hit or miss and just a few days ago I tossed one of these Blue Jays cans at him and he let it bounce all the way over his head. I couldn't believe it, I needed to drink about five more before I got over it.
In closing, this Blue Jays can of beer is really something else. As I alluded to, it's a really painful experience that never brings much more than short bursts of satisfaction. I should have never gotten my hopes up so high when I looked at that can on the shelf of the liquor store thinking it would amount to anything more than the usual terrible experience of drinking a Budweiser. I thought for some reason this time would be different, but they always find a new way to make the beer a massive letdown. Unfortunately for me I just took another sip and faced the fact that I had been trying to avoid, this beer is only a little over half finished.