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A Mythical Conversation with John Gibbons

And now it's time for a mythical conversation with John Gibbons (aka Boomhower)...

Dave: John, really nice to have this chance to sit down with you today

Gibbons: Yeah, dat dang ole' press secretry did gum tells me to come by here flap a little gum wich ya dis merning

Dave: Well that was mighty fine of her John

Gibbons: Yeah... she's a stand-up cow poke ... and hey dere... call me Gibby

Dave: OK Gibby... you're the proud receipient of a new contract extension. How does that feel?

Gibby: Weeeeeeeeeeellll... dat dere's a not too much of a skull scracher. I did some o' dat number crunchin' while on me ranch while you Canajen' be shiverin' in duh snow... you do know dere's no snow in Texas?

Dave: Yeah (holding a grudge) I know Gibby

Gibby: (Giggling) huh huh huh... well I figguers out dat... well dang 'ole near everyone be makin' more dan Johnny G. So I picks up duh phone and called dat true blue-state baston boy JP and says... we need to chat... den it got dun pronto. Don't mess with Texas.

Dave: Deal. What about the rotation? Zambrano, Thompson, Chacin, Okha... who's in and who's out?

Gibby: (wiping brow) Be danged if I got any idea... ya got Zambrano! I dang-near wet myself when heard dat name!

Dave: Oh you thought it was Carlos Zambrano?

Gibby: Naw I figgered it was Jose Zambrano from Zambrano San Antonio Ford. Dang ole feller sold me a F-150...(awkward pause) ... yeah he's a bang up hombre. (Kicks at the dirt before coming to) Shoot eets pree dern hot out here in dis camp. It's duh sunshine state ya know? You's got any lemonaid?

Dave: No I don't have any...

Gibby: (spits chaw on the ground)

Dave: Careful... I'm wearing sandles

Gibby: (Chuckling) Heh heh heh

Dave: Last question Gibby.

Gibby: Hoppin' horney toads already?

Dave: Where do you think the Jays are going to finish this season?

Gibby: Terawna.... (more chuckling)