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Why you should write-in Munenori Kawasaki on the All-Star Ballot and not vote for Jhonny Peralta

Courtesy Citizens United to Yell "Kawasaki!!!!" Super PAC / Kawasaki Photo by Tom Szczerbowski-USA TODAY Sports


Why you should write-in Munenori Kawasaki on the All-Star Ballot and not vote for Jhonny Peralta

Toronto, Ontario - April 29, 2013 - The Citizens United to Yell "Kawasaki!!!!" Super PAC (or "Kawasaki Super PAC" for short) is extremely concerned at prospect of Detroit Tigers shortstop Jhonny Peralta being elected onto the American League All-Star team, and has released the following campaign video:

It has been scientifically proven that Jhonny Peralta sucks. A Google search of "Johnny Peralta sucks" reveals over 900 results, but a search for "Munenori Kawasaki sucks" only reveals 3 results, with the first one linking to a site that wants to find out whether he has a girlfriend. In fact, out of all the shortstops in the American League, only Pedro Florimon sucks less than Kawasaki, mostly because no one knows who he is:

Search Term

Derek Jeter sucks


J.J. Hardy sucks


Ronny Cedeno sucks


Jhonny Peralta sucks


Brendan Ryan sucks


Alexei Ramirez sucks


Stephen Drew sucks


Jed Lowrie sucks


Yunel Escobar sucks


Elvis Andrus sucks


Erick Aybar sucks


Asdrubal Cabrera sucks


Alcides Escobar sucks


Munenori Kawasaki sucks


Pedro Florimon sucks


A Kawasaki Super PAC spokes person asked, "would you want your children to see a man of such suckage and concrete stature patrol shortstop for your American League All-Star team? I think not. Why don't you protect your children and baseball's future by writing-in Munenori Kawasaki?"

Fans would find that voting for Kawasaki is very easy. They can go to this link and scroll all the way down to the bottom of the page (or, press "page down") where it says "Write-In." On the left where it says "Select Club", click and choose "Blue Jays", and where it says "Select Position", choose "Shortstop". Then, type in "Munenori" beside "First Name" and "Kawasaki" beside "Last Name", click "Continue", fill in the information in the next screen and click "Submit Your Vote". Fans can vote 25 times without an account, and 10 more times once they log in.

If you believe in Kawasaki, or if you just hate Jhonny Peralta, Kawasaki Super PAC urges you to share this video on social media and use the hash-tag #WriteInKawasaki. You can read Kawasaki Super PAC's campaign launch press release here.

This message is approved by the Kawasaki Super PAC and was paid for by the John McDonald Foundation for the Popularity of Utility Infielders. Video was created by Cashew Mirman, who was most definitely not compensated for his work.




Campaign Video #1


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