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Blast from the Past: Jays team building post Halloween costume party

JohnnyG wrote this back in 2011. We thought it would be a great idea to re-post it today for the memories.

Tom Szczerbowski-US PRESSWIRE

Ever wonder what the Jays do for team building in the off-season? Wonder no longer!

Scene:  John Farrell's house. The house is decorated in Halloween decorations, with John Farrell running around frantically putting out party snack trays while Don Wakamatsu, Dwayne Murphy and Bruce Walton all watch with interest. They are all dressed as various members of the A-Team

Farrell : Faster, Faster we gotta be faster

Don: Uh John, maybe you should calm down.... And wasn't Halloween like 2 weeks ago? Aren't we a bit late?

Farrell: Well I got the idea for a team building party when all these kids came around asking for Candy.  I was putting out signs for a hit and run and to steal the candy from next door but all the kids looked at me like I was crazy. They just kept missing the signs.

Butterfield (yelled from another room): STILL NOT MY FAULT!

Farrell: Riiiight, Anyways. Come on, get in the spirit. The guys will be here any minute and I really want this to be fun costume party. Time to get into character.

Murphy: I pity the fool that takes a pitch!

Farrell:  Ok, This may have been a bad idea....

The doorbell rings, Farrell goes to answer the door. Bautista, Lawrie, Arencibia, Escobar and Rauch are all standing at the door.  Lawrie, Arencibia and Rauch appear to be only ones in costume. Lawrie is wearing a strange outfit with a red maple leaf shield, Arencibia is a black skintight outfit and Rauch is dressed as Superman

Farrell: Uhhh hi guys, thanks for coming... I guess some of you forgot it was a costume party huh?

Everyone: We're the Avengers

Lawrie: I'm Captain Canada!

Farrell: You mean Captain America?

Lawrie: Yeah right, like I'm going to dress up and act like that smug jerk

Lawrie proceeds to throw his shield across the room smashing a vase.


Lawrie starts to chest bump with anyone in arms reach. Farrell sighs and turns to the rest of the group asking Bautista which Avenger he is.

Bautista: Thor

Bautista picks up a bat and ball and cracks the ball onto the next block. The sound of the ball off the bat echoes in the distance.

Bautista: Thunder.

Farrell: But shouldn't you at least have a cape or something?

Bautista stares down Farrell. Farrell obviously shaken stumbles backwards and turns quickly to Escobar

Farrell:  Oh Hey! What about you Yunel, who are you supposed to be?

Escobar: IronMan

Farrell: Oh so you're like without the suit, so like Tony Stark then?

Escobar: No, Head like Iron

Escobar hits himself in the head

Escobar: See, No Concuss. I never concuss, Not I remember anyways.

Farrell: Please stop saying that, you are going to get me in trouble.

Arencibia pushes his way to the front of the group interrupting Farrell

Arencibia: Coach! Please tell the guys I can be someone else. I don't want to be Black Widow!

Rauch: Grrr quiet pretty boy. All Rauch hear on road is how good looking J.P is. Rauch tired of it. You so pretty? You be the pretty avenger.

Farrell: Sorry J.P. Rauch scares me more than you do so I'm going to take his side... Hey big guy, not that I am questioning your knowledge in any way, but wasn't Superman part of the Justice League and not the Avengers?

McCoy steps out from behind Rauch dressed as Green Arrow

McCoy: See I told you Jon! You should have been the Hulk it suits you so much better anyways.

Rauch: Me no like Hulk! GRRRRRRR RAUCH SMASH!

Rauch turning green with rage picks up McCoy and throws him through the air into the next yard

Farrell (Yelling to McCoy): Flight to Vegas doesn't seem so bad now huh!

McCoy: oww................

As everyone steps inside the house, Farrell closes the door only to have it ring again. He opens it back up only to find that there is no one there. A figure dressed in a ninja costume drops down behind Farrell before sneaking off to the shadows of the room.

Farrell: Well that's weird.... Hey! Wait a minute where did all the candy go and what the hell is this?

Farrell pulls a copy of a Vernon Wells contract from his back pocket shocked to find his signature on the bottom of the page

Farrell (Shouting): Alex! I know you're here. I know it's a party but you need to stop doing this wherever you go!

Whispers emanate from the shadows seemingly from every direction

Alex: Siiiiiiilent Assassin.......

Farrell: Well this couldn't get any worse...

Doorbell rings again. Farrell turns with a dumbfounded look as he hadn't actually closed the door yet

J.P. Ricciardi: HI!

Farrell slams the door turning the lock, deadbolt and chaining it shut.

Farrell: Everyone shut up, maybe he'll go away. If he gets in here we will rebuilding the party for years.

Butterfield (again yelling from another room): NOT MY FAULT EITHER!

Ricky Romero emerges from the kitchen holding a carton of eggs.

Romero: Alright forget this, come on guys let's go egg the Yankees and Red Sox team building parties.

Multiple beeps echo across the room as multiple players pull out their blackberries and check twitter

Arencibia: What the hell, their houses were already egged? How the hell did that happen?

Whispered from the shadows: Siiiiiiilent Assassin.......

Farrell: You know... sometimes that guy really scares me.