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Santa’s List

Fulham FC v West Ham United - Premier League Photo by Catherine Ivill/Getty Images

Santa, I know it is late, but here are some suggests for what you could bring some of our friends.

Mark Shapiro and Ross Atkins: As always, some patience. Not really for them, but for Blue Jays fans. They are going to need us to have it. Also, a couple of starting pitchers.

Dalton Pompey: A chance. A major league job. I don’t know what the Jays are thinking, but, since he hasn’t been released, I’m starting to think they plan to give him the fourth outfielder job. I’m just guessing, but if they have written him off, they they really should have let him go by now and bought themselves an extra spot to hide a player from the Rule 5 draft. Anyway Santa, what I’m asking for him is a major league job, either here or somewhere else.

Charlie Montoyo: Patience, for him this time, the economy sized package (maybe one of those Costco sided packages). And a sense of humor. He’s going to both.

Kendrys Morales: Santa, last year you got him a slow start. A really really slow start. This year a hot start? Please. Really, just have him start the season hitting the way he hit in July last year. A hot start could make him tradeable and/or slow the complaining.

Russell Martin: A different uniform. Sorry, Russell, it isn’t that I don’t want to see you playing, it would just be good for the team to hand the job over to Jansen and I think you would be happiers/better off on a team in a playoff race.

Kevin Pillar: SOME CLEMENSING IDEA OF WHERE THE STRIKE ZONE IS. Whoops sorry Santa, that was louder than I intended (and sorry for swearing at you). Since that’s not likely to happen, maybe longer hot streaks and shorter cold streaks.

I saw a note saying that the Giants were interested in him. I wonder if there is a fit there?

Marcus Stroman/Aaron Sanchez: Health. 30 starts each.

Larry Walker: A shiny new Hall of Fame plaque.

Teoscar Hernandez: Santa, could you gift him with defensive ability? Please?

Ryan Borucki: A season like last year’s, but with twice as many major league innings.

Joe Biagini: Consistency? I mean the good kind. Consistency throwing good strikes.

Elvis Luciano: The ability to pitch well enough to stay in the back of our bullpen for the season. And, have it not effect his development.

Anthony Alford: A return to top prospect status.

Rowdy Tellez: Health for everyone in his family and a year where he can focus on baseball. And another opportunity in the majors with the same success.

Troy Tulowitzki: To surprise us.

Lourdes Gurriel Jr.: Santa, you remember that run of multi-hit games. Bring him the same, but longer. And, please, let’s not have it end with an injury this time.

Vlad Guerrero Jr.: Hmmmm he seems to have it all. You seem to have given with both hands on this one Santa.

Brandon Drury: You know the health you are bringing for Sanchez and Stroman, some for Brandon would be ok too. And, ummm, let’s not give him too many games at third base.

Tim Mayza: A full season in the majors. No more up and down stuff.

Randal Grichuk: Some more spectacular catches.

Ken Giles: A continuation of his perfect record in save situations. The MLB record is 84. I think Giles is at 31, so sometime in 2020 we can look for him to set the new record.

Julian Merryweather or Trent Thornton or Jacob Waguespack: Give at least one of them the ability to surprise us.

For Kate, Matt, Martin, Erik and all the rest of us of us on the masthead: As always, interesting things to write about and, of course, the time to write about them.

For me? I really have everything I need. I’m far luckier than I deserve to be. I guess I’d ask to have most opportunities to spent time with my family. I have a holiday coming to the far end of South America. What I really want out of it is to see some penguins, Santa, so if you could arrange good penguin watching weather, I’d appreciate it. And....stuff to write about when I get back.

Or, you know, you could bring me a banjo. Santa never brings me a banjo.

For All of Us: Let’s ask for health, happiness and some great Blue Jays baseball to watch. A few more wins than last year would be ok.

Merry Christmas to all.

Add in your suggestions for Santa. I’m sure he’ll take a look in before heading out tonight.